One month into my birthday and I’m still not a published author. Never mind – still loads of time! I can relax a bit. In fact, I won’t be sending out any manuscripts for a while. I’ll take a break. Leave things and then go back to it. I read somewhere it’s best to read your manuscript with fresh eyes. I totally agree coz at the moment I’m totally sick of my bloody novel. I hate it. It’s crap, total crap! All 70,000 words of it. I need a break, holiday, need to jump start my enthusiasm. Then I can get back to my masterpiece…

Something weird happened today. I went for a job interview with the NHS and actually got it (so one of the interviewers said to me in the lift on the way out; her exact words; Honey, it’s yours!”). Although, I will now be earning double what I am now earning, it is a bittersweet victory. You see I will now be working full time – less time for writing. But hey, I have bills pay (not to mention, thousands in student debt). I guess this is what is meant by being a grown – up.

I am beginning to see things more positively – people write books with a thousand kids in tow. If you’re really are passionate about something then you find a way. You just have to.

It’s my birthday! 28 today. And instead of feeling the usual, “Just a few more years to middle age” and “Where have all the years gone?’ crap, I’m actually feeling positive. You see, this is my year – the year I WILL be published. What scientific evidence do I have to back this up? Err, various daydreams regarding my big publishing contract always seem to take place age 28. It’s just a feeling I’ve always had. .. and weren’t literary greats such as Jenny Colgan signed up at that age? Seems to be the norm…

‘Im indoors actually took me out to a posh Thai restaurant (posh, meaning a full course costing more than £2.99). It was nice, only I kept thinking, by coming here, I’d actually failed. You see, part of the daydreams mentioned above used to involve me celebrating my publishing contract here. I’d book half the resturant for friends and family. I’d make a toast thanking everyone for their support etc, and now that I’d made it as a writer, I’d never change; blah, blah, blah. Thanking ‘Im indoors for all his patience and encouragement. Oh well, praps the chinease down the high road then…?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Instead of the usual misery guts this time

Of year, I decided to set up a life plan. This included the following;

GET PUBLISHED.

The argument in my brain when as follows;

“Been trying to get published for ages already.”

“Yeah, but this is a time for renewal. Forget the past, make 2003 the year to get published.”

“Been trying to get published for ages already.”

“But it’s 2003!”

“Been trying to get published for ages.”

As you can tell, this argument got me nowhere. Couldn’t even tell you where the poxy list is now…