I'm In Nigeria!

I arrived on Wednesday, after my plane was forced to spend half an hour flying in circles - too much traffic at Lagos airport apparently. Obviously an omen because I then spent a stifling 3 whole hours in traffic. African hot is nothing like England hot.

Anyway, I kissed my loverly mum, said hello to a body building, previous holiday romance (who strangely hasnt decided to dissapear two years later...) I unpacked and attempted a hot and sweaty night trying to sleep. The mozzy's didnt help, luckily i had my repellent, cream and a new fangled electric mozzy zapper (hey. I CAME PREPARED!!!)

So today, after trekking 1000 miles for an internet cafe with a batch of archaic computers, (WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING!!!) and dusty fans, I am here with my nephew wiping the sweat from our foreheads. A strange young man looks over everytime I utter a word in my very un-queen's English and I am horrified to note HE'S TAKING A PICTURE OF ME WITH HIS CAMERA PHONE. After imagining the image of my head accompanied with a Jordenesque body commiting an act of beastiality on the WWW, I drag the nepthew and in disgust, move over to another seat where the computer is missing a key.

The electricity switches off twice (very commen in Lagos) during the duration of my designated hour, my new false nails adding to the difficulty of typing a single word without a typo.
This is too much work. I'm off..