Wednesday, April 26

I went back to work today

Back to the grind and the day job. It felt weird. My head was all over the place.
I'll write again when feeling more like... me!

Tuesday, April 25

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!

I'm here in London. Washing my clothes, getting used to the cold weather. I LOVE IT!!!!

Plus thank you Emma and Priya for your lovely comments. Wow... people actually read what I write. I still can't get over that.
Anyway, gotta dash. Work tommorow. Back to the grind BUT THATS OKAY.
By the way, I have edited the last 3 posts, so if you have a minute you can re-read them or paint your nails (the nails would probably be more exciting).
Talking of nails, I want my real ones back!

Sunday, April 23


I repeat. I missed my flight yesterday morning, because I waited for my mum's friend to take us to the airport at 5am. He didnt show, so i had to lug my case onto public transport - ie, a rickety tiny bus that wouldn't even pass an MOT and raced (sort of) to the taxi rank. We reached the check in desk 5 minutes after it closed. And after fruitless pleading to officials who uncharacteristically didn't ask for a bribe, I found myself making overly expensive mobile calls to England (yes, using Roaming) where I have now managed to secure a flight for monday AT A COST OF 600 (unbudgeted for) pounds.

This isnt good.

So I have just printed off my E-receipt and am going back to my mum's to re-pack.

Oh well.

I am not as mad as I should be. I will say this though, with all the poverty out here, one thing allows many of those i have met to remain positive - faith, with most saying; "Every dissapointment is a blessing."

So it's been a strange 'holiday'. 

Wednesday, April 19

I am just not cut out for false nails... or Nigeria for that matter

Hi All,

I'm still here in the land of Africa.... Daily electricity cuts, dodgy motors but the best sunshine.

The weather is beautiful, hence I'm not looking forward to London's arctic weather...
Had a few near misses with an abundence of HBVLG's (hungry british Visa loving guys) out here. But after giving short, sharp,srift, they wont be bothering me again.

Sunday, April 16

I'm In Nigeria!

I arrived on Wednesday, after my plane was forced to spend half an hour flying in circles - too much traffic at Lagos airport apparently. Obviously an omen because I then spent a stifling 3 whole hours in traffic. African hot is nothing like England hot.

Anyway, I kissed my loverly mum, said hello to a body building, previous holiday romance (who strangely hasnt decided to dissapear two years later...) I unpacked and attempted a hot and sweaty night trying to sleep. The mozzy's didnt help, luckily i had my repellent, cream and a new fangled electric mozzy zapper (hey. I CAME PREPARED!!!)

So today, after trekking 1000 miles for an internet cafe with a batch of archaic computers, (WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING!!!) and dusty fans, I am here with my nephew wiping the sweat from our foreheads. A strange young man looks over everytime I utter a word in my very un-queen's English and I am horrified to note HE'S TAKING A PICTURE OF ME WITH HIS CAMERA PHONE. After imagining the image of my head accompanied with a Jordenesque body commiting an act of beastiality on the WWW, I drag the nepthew and in disgust, move over to another seat where the computer is missing a key.

The electricity switches off twice (very commen in Lagos) during the duration of my designated hour, my new false nails adding to the difficulty of typing a single word without a typo.
This is too much work. I'm off..

Monday, April 10

Just putting some songs......

onto the iPod. Instead of earplugs I can just pop on the MP3 player as I'm nagged from all directions.......

Sunday, April 9

Still packing....

As usual I had to sit my fat ass on my suitcase today as I struggled to close it. Half the clothes I wont wear, that much I know. I'll probably spend half the time in a brightly coloured kaftan and FCUK flipflops because its soooo hot in Nigeria. My shorts and mini skirts will probably go unfolded considering it used to be an offence to wear a skirt above a certain lengh (I am not joking) and one has no intention of getting arrested.
I think I have everything, but in true me fashion, I'm bound to forget something... now where did I put that mozzy bite calming lotion........?

Saturday, April 8

Hi Kim, thanks for the comment....

....and yes what you have said is soooo true. In fact, my 4 brothers held a meeting the other day to discuss my 'unmarried' situation (no, I couldnt make this up) I am still fuming, I cant even bring myself to type about it. I know its a cultural thing (african ways) but I also think its a gender issue too ... look, I'm getting too deep here. gotta stay happy. I'm off on a plane in about 4 days time.

So, forget about the actual DESTINATION. I just luuuurve the actual trip. Passing through to the departure lounge, I give a huge sigh of relief at the sight of all those duty free shops, Mac cosmetics, Burberry (not that I can even afford a small belt there).I love it all. Trying on all the perfumes. Knowing that soon i'll be on the plane, away from my bills and non responsive agents...
And then there's the plane.
Once I get over the fact that the nice lady at the counter HAS NOT upgraded me free of charge to Business Class, I allow the lovely air hostesses to pander to my every food whim. Trying to ignore the passenger beside me as s/he drones on and on about something I refuse to give two hoots about. Attempting to make eye contact with the only goodlooking bloke on the plane as I line up for a toilet so minute, you couldnt swing a midgit cat in it.
Then it's time.
Arrival at destination...
And the mini nightmare begins.... watch this space guys.........

Thursday, April 6

Just a few days until I'm off!

This time next week I'll be in the sun.. no, unfortunately not on some beach, sipping coctails , reading a fantastic new novel but probably being nagged constantly by my mum as i swat at the nearest mozzy -
yep, its that time of year again -
my annual trip to sunny ... Nigeria. Hmmm... far from lapping it up in luxury, my bed will be as hard as a concrete slab, the.. okay, enough complaining... i'll Blog when I get there and fill you all in.